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I Feel Fear When My Pet is Ill. Is It His Time? (Seiki’s Story)

Written by Salt Lake City Dog Trainers

Johanna's Personal Dog Stories

Comment(s): 4

August 17, 2015

Please support us in creating Seiki’s Recovery.  Read the story below.  Then if you are willing donate money to support his health.  Even $1 is helpful! Click here to donate.

I wake up in the morning to get ready to hike with my dog, my daughter and my wonderful friend.  I am also excited for dog training.  Salt Lake City has many dog hiking options! My friend helps me get everything ready so that I can easily get out the door before my daughter’s nap time! We are all so excited.  Seiki is pacing.  He cannot wait!  When we hit the trail at Neff’s canyon Seiki jumps and I hear him whine.  I check him over.  He looks fine and encourages me to let him run.  So I let him go 🙂  His behavior is very normal and he seems so happy.

Because I see my dog as my son, and I am the owner of Four Legged Scholars LLC Dog Training, Salt Lake City, I take the health of my dog seriously.  He is a part of our family.  I take him into the vet to find out why he whined and to see if joints are bothering him.  Since he is older, I also do a CBC (complete blood count).  Turns out his ionized calcium is super high.  Our vet at Healing Hearts, believes that it is probably a result of his parathyroid malfunctioning or cancer. Fear rises in my body!  The vet takes more blood to run more tests. I have to wait 7 to 10 business days for these blood results to be completed by the laboratory.

We wait.  I watch my dog slowly decline in health. He stops eating unless I have canned food in his healthy dry kibble.  He is drinking up a storm and then as days go by he changes to hardly drinking at all.  He begins to have trouble walking. He is dragging his back legs.  His nerves are degenerating due to the high calcium. As a result, he is loosing feeling and control in his back right leg and a little in his left back leg too.  I begin to have to carry him up and down the stairs to potty outside.  I watch as he no longer listens or performs any obedience commands. Is his time nearing?  What will happen next?

I dive into the abyss.  I am not able to see the future and I have no idea what it might hold for Seiki and I.  At first, I felt much fear and was loosing sleep.  What if his time has come?  Is rainbow bridge around the corner? It can’t be time yet!  I am not ready!  I begin to feel guilty about the past two years.  After I got pregnant, the amount of hikes I took Seiki on significantly decreased.  Have I failed as a doggie parent?  I didn’t do a good enough job.  I want to fix the past and spend more time with him now.  Iris is getting older, we can hike more easily now!  So I am asking Seiki to stay a bit longer.

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My best friend and of course Salt Lake City dog training’s best friend, Seiki!

Then it dawns on me that all I have control over is the “now”.  All the tests in the world, fear and waiting are all future oriented.  What if I just let go and look at what I have in front of me?  I breath and connect with spirit.  I lay down with Seiki as I am giving him his IV.  I reminisce our wonderful times together.  As a Salt Lake City dog trainer, Seiki and I have many training memories.  The camping and hiking was amazing.  Of course with my spiritual connection, there were the times we spent meditating every day!  What a joy he has been.  I open up and cry. I tell him how much he means to me. I let go.

We move to my bed to meditate together.  Before I meditate, I share with him my deep subconscious fears of failing and not being good enough to him.  I complete this feeling inside me. I let it unravel to treasure the moment of the “now”.  As I am meditating, I fall asleep.  When I awake Seiki is still by my side. I tell him how much I love him.  I decided he will sleep with me on my bed during the nights .

It is the now that I have to treasure with him.  Yes he is sick and yes he might pass soon.  I can’t control that. I can control the time I still have with him. The “now”.  So to the “now” it is!

This morning I took Seiki into the vet again.  The test results are here and they are negative!  There are no problems with his parathyroid and no cancer!  Yahoo!!!!  Today he will get an ultrasound and we will run some tests to determine if he has Addison’s disease.  Lastly, he may receive some X-rays.  Our vet at Healing Hearts, believes if we can lower his calcium he may walk again!  It would be wonderful to be able to take him to work again to support our Salt Lake City dog training clients!  Of course hiking is even more fun and bonding in my mind!

Please take sometime in your day to stop and pray for Seiki.  Send him love and healing light.  May he truly feel the angels around him!  He is so loved!

Then if you are willing clicker here to donate some money to support Seiki’s health Even $1 is helpful! 

Your turn, please post your answer in a comment below!

What fears have you felt with your dog in regards to behavior issues, health issues, etc.?  How can you get back into the now and stop thinking about the past and the future?

Namaste!

Johanna Teresi, Professional Trainer and Owner of Four Legged Scholars LLC Dog Training, Salt Lake City

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4 Comments

  1. Claudia
    Claudia on August 18, 2015 at 12:14 am

    I just read your e mail. My heart goes out to you and Seiki, I know how much he means to you, he has been your companion for a long time and has brought you so much joy. It is nerve recking when our 4 legged companions get ill.
    Our adopted son Mr. Churchill was diagnosed with kidney cancer in June 6th of this year. I was crushed he has been with us for 1 year only. My heart sank and had so many questions.. What to do next… How much time does he have left, is it painful, etc. I realized that he had no idea, even though he is sick, he is Happy in the now!!!! We treasure him every day as if it was his last. Amazingly he is still with us, losing a lot of weight, but his apetite is great. I feed him small amounts of food every 4 hours. When we take him to memory grove his walks are short, but he is enjoying other doggies stoping to say hello, the water, flowers, smells, he is not ready to leave us. I meditate and always ask to stay present to his needs in spirit… To help me know when the moment comes to say good bye. It will not be easy, however each day I walk in gratitude with him for sharing his beautiful strong will to live and his example to us, for being here and in the now…
    This experience has also taught me to grieve in the process and to accept that nothing is permanent. It gives me joy that he finally found a forever home and he is so loved by Henry our Sharpei and us his parents.

    • fourleggedscholars
      fourleggedscholars on August 28, 2015 at 10:22 pm

      What a joy it is hear from you!! I love so very much!!!! I feel blessed to still be in contact with you! You have warmed my heart in so many ways and I a forever connected with you and your family! Send Henry so much love from us!
      I appreciate your compassion and ability to relate to our situation. Your authenticity is a joy!
      My heart aches for you as well. I am so sorry to hear about Churchill. How difficult after just one year! I am so sorry. However, you know as well as I do with pain come gifts. Thank you for meditating with him and for your presence. Animals are the best teachers!
      I love all so very much and I really appreciate you reaching out during this difficult time.
      Please call me anytime if you need any emotional support as well! XXXXXOOO Johanna, Seiki and Iris!

  2. ling wong
    ling wong on August 25, 2015 at 2:38 am

    Thanks for sharing your story, interaction with our pets can definitely become an opportunity for reflection and personal growth opportunity. I hope Seiki gets better soon!

    • fourleggedscholars
      fourleggedscholars on August 28, 2015 at 10:23 pm

      Thank you for considerate reply 🙂 Unfortunately Seiki is terminally ill so his health will slowly decline again. He has stage 4 Lymphoma. I will write more today so you can read it get updated on the new story 🙂 Namaste!